discouraged

do you ever have days when you feel discouraged?

well that has been me. for the last several days.

i am on the edge of reaching 100 verses for Bible memorization (this week marks 99). which means..duh duh duh. i have to say all 100 to receive my medal.  

i have not been practicing all my verses all along which i should be doing, which is no ones fault but my own. 

but regardless, i am nervous as all get out. 

what if i mess up?

what if i completely forget a verse?

what will people think of me?

i know that i shouldn't have these thoughts. but i can't seem to get them out of my head lately.  

next sunday we are all getting together to practice our verses. and for those of us who are at 100 and are ready (there are about 5 of us that are at 100), we will say them for our "test".   maybe that is why i am so freaked out is because we are "testing" for our medal.

i  never thought i would be able to retain all these verses.  that's why i was hesitant to start this group.  but i know i am there for a reason. and i should remember my favorite verse. [the one i will recite on stage in front of the whole congregation]. 

be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

[Philippians 4:6-7]

i have had a rough few days at work lately.  it is days like today that make me question if i am cut out to teach preschool.  after the last few days, my LEAST favorite words are: NO and STOP.  i have heard these two words so much out of the mouths of my precious 3 and  4 year olds that i could go months without hearing them again.

so may i ask that you pray for my sanity at work and my patience  with practicing my verses. 

on a better note, i got to see this girl for the first time in several years. she is my bestest most favorite friend (long story). we have known each other for 25+years. 

typical of our friendship.

love & blessings.

rachel

Memories

it's amazing how memories can come flooding back to you when something tragic happens.
no one is happy when someone close to them passes away.
i certainly was not when my best friends [since 2 years old] dad passed away last week.
it was sudden and unexpected.   but never the less, heartbreaking.  
even now, one week later,  tears stream down my face as my heart hurts for my friend. 
i could not imagine [even at 27] loosing either parent so unexpectedly at such a young age [he was only 54]. 
one thing that i can take away from this is that life is precious. we are not promised tomorrow, so take time to enjoy this life that you are given.  does that mean act stupidly and don't care what will happen to you? absolutely not, that would be stupid. yes, i said that.
do not abuse this life you are given - it is a precious gift from God. 
take time to enjoy the little things.
life isn't easy. it has ups and downs. but one of my favorite sayings, from a high school teacher who had a huge impact on my life and passed away a few years after i graduated is, "enjoy the struggle."


so i leave you with this, enjoy the struggle in every aspect of your life.  no one wants to face a struggle, but in the end it will all be worth it. 

my papa, me, greg & pammy.
Circa 2002ish.


love & blessings.
rachel 

summer lovin'.

summer is here which means:

cuddling with  my pup.

weddings.

4 of july.

vacation. 

time with family.

hot  [very]  weather.

pool.

pool parties. 

time with friends.

pool party.

4th of july.weddings.

visiting with friends from arizona. 

testimony.

so. a few weeks ago i linked up with leigh ann on her post writing a bit about my walk with God. 

this week at Bible study, we were supposed to write my testimony to read to the class. [the book we were reading was done and we had a few weeks before a new class is being offered. so our senior pastor came and spoke to our class about witnessing] writing my testimony was a different experience.  it was hard, scary and eye opening all at the same time.  my pastor set up these sort of guide lines for us to use as a guide when writing it.  i was so worried that i was not writing it correctly. that when i read it in class my pastor would look at me and say "um, did you even read the guidelines while writing your testimony?" [as a disclaimer, he would never do that.] 

anywho. i finally finished it & read it to my class a few days later.  of course after other people read theirs, i had the thought of "oh, that would have been something i could have said in mine."  but then i snapped out of that. this is my testimony. not anyone else's. it's mine. 

it was very rewarding to write my testimony.  i feel like witnessing is something that i need to improve on a bit.  but that is constantly happening.  i'm learning more as a Christian and am feeling more confident to share  my faith.  

here is the last paragraph of my testimony.  

In high school, I had a teacher that always said “enjoy the struggle.”  That has always had profound meaning in my life.  Being a Christian does not mean that you do not face struggles.  But being a Christian means that you have a God who truly loves and cares about every aspect of your life.  And knowing that I have God on my side, gives me comfort and peace to be able to enjoy the struggle.  

enjoy the struggle.

rachel. 

plans.

i love my church.  

for several reasons. but one being that my pastor gives great sermons.

this past weekend was mothers day.

so his sermon was entitled: "what a wife wishes a husband knew about women." 

he linked passages in the Bible and referenced  the "5 Love Languages"

wow.   

being a single person right now, this was very powerful.  he talked about  how we have to show "I Love you" through the 5 love languages:

1. through words of affirmation.

2. through quality time.

3. through giving gifts.

4. through physical display.

5. through acts of service.

after he was done going through the 5 languages, he told the women to find out which love language theirs was & to tell their mate.  {or if you are single, figure it out to tell your future husband}

there are so many times that i feel like i am being attacked by satan that i am not good enough. not pretty enough. i'm not going to get married. etc. etc.  sometimes it is easier said than done to "put those thoughts out of your head."  i know God has a perfect plan for my life, but sometimes it is hard to see that.  i am not a very patient person, so waiting to see what God has in store for me is a struggle sometimes. 
i was reminded of this verse by someone who is going through a very hard time.  
For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 
jeremiah 29:11

my God will give me peace. love. direction. strength. encouragement. hope. support. answered prayer. and so many other things.
i am thankful for this. and need to remember all this. but there are days i have my "debbie downer" moments.  [not that today is one of those days. in fact after yesterday's sermon i feel pretty good.]

love & blessings.
rachel.

LIY/june 1989 giveaway.

erin at living in yellow, is featuring a giveaway over on her blog. 

 june 1989  has beautiful bracelets.  i would love several different colors. like, for reals. they are beautiful. 

i'm dog-sitting my adorable neph-paw tonight.  he is one spoiled pooch. but adorable.

happy saturday.

a change.

hi. my name is Rachel.  this is my journey about how i became a Christian.  it is a personal story, and a tad long.  but it has shaped me into the person i have become.  

i accepted Christ into my life later in life.  i always believed in God growing up. going to church with my grandparents, but not on a regular basis with my parents and sister.  

during college, i worked for a school district where i opened up a school building when someone rented it.  my boss asked me if i wanted to open up the building every saturday for a church.  i was a broke college student, so i agreed.  i opened the building for about 4 years on saturday nights and when the woman who opened the building on sundays had a massive heart attack and was unable to open on sundays.  so i was now there on saturday nights when they set up and sunday mornings.  

so i was there. a lot. when church was going on i would sit in a classroom doing homework/studying.  people would ask me to come into church, but i never did. one day a new family starting coming to set up on saturday nights. the room that i sat in happened to be the room where they had to come in and get the water for the coffee pots.  so when this new family starting coming to set up the coffee, they would come in and talk to me.  they were so nice [now we are close friends] and would ask me to come into church but not be pushy about it.  they asked for about a year. 

then the pastor's {my pastor now} mother passed away and i went to the funeral service.  i had been opening up the building for a long time and got to know him.  so i went with several people i knew [ the family who always talked to me being one of them] to the funeral.  at the end of the service he gave an invitation to ask Jesus into your life.  i said that prayer inside but never looked up at the pastor.  i was scared.  on the way home i said that prayer again, and again.  

about a month or so later, the church had their very first saturday night service.  and that happened to be the first service i attended.  everyone was shocked. i sat in the front row with several people i knew.  it is amazing the overwhelming feeling of love i felt from everyone when they saw me in the service.  i had been around the church for years now and they finally got me into the church. [ha]

it was one of the best decisions i have made.  my life is different. i have changed.  do i still make mistakes? absolutely. am i perfect? no way. but do i love my God who gave everything to his children? 100 percent.  

i have learned so much about myself over the last few years.  i have changed. my story has changed. some people around me question that change and don't understand the whole church/God thing. but i am trying to help their story change too.  

i am linking up with leigh on her post:  i am second